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I'm F. .. perfect ...?

I'm F. .. perfect ...?

In the name of good education, first question how are you? And in fact I hope well! I like you. I'm probably not the perfect fan ... I do not know most of the things that usually the fans know! May be related to my age ... the thirty years we lived differently. Which leads me to write is simply the need to talk to someone, someone who does not know and I will not know ... I chose Pink as the probability of getting it to read this e-mail is minimal. Partly also because the songs are what I hear and help me get through the day, one after the other ... First of all, without you ever better known, I think someone who sings the song "Sober" the way you sing deserves all the credit in the world as it is with feeling ... and who hears and knows the meaning is a strange form of pleasure, I say! Wait, I'm not alone after all!
I am forced to apologize for what I write next, but I must speak, speak with someone who'll never see me with someone who'll never make eye contact and therefore do not have to be ashamed because it is what I feel .
I am a normal guy, I fight for my life ever since I work in finance, management do million of a company where I am no more than one number among many others. If necessary work from seven o'clock until ten o'clock at night and not really get recognized. I hate what I do!
My life has been hell ever since my father is alcoholic, violent, beat my mother since I was five years. He raped her at night under my bedroom, over and over and I was there, lying to tremble without knowing what to do, I spoke with her several times to complain in the police, but she never wanted ... Separated from him several times with three kids to raise ... reached the point of working during the day as a hotel maid, and a prostitute at night to feed the children ... Always believe in silence and nobody knew ... and eventually returned to my father ... In my fifteen years it was my turn, not my father, but by a trusted neighbor, as usual ... who raped me ... several times ... and I never said anything to anyone ...
I turned eighteen and decided my problem with my neighbor, since a person's age, but told him that what he did was wrong, and if I were a bad person as he was F. ... up with me! I forced him to ask my forgiveness, only to have the pleasure of telling him it would not forgive him, and that scared the boy fifteen years no longer existed. I was not scared of him nor accuse him. But life is always ticking and I wanted to help my mother out of the hands of the animal that controlled and hurt. What was the twenty-year-old who told my father that he was a beast. And I knew what he did to my mother, who made ​​us suffer for four, and that ended there. That if he wanted to hurt someone, I was there, and stronger than him. Of course as always was a coward who did not dare to touch me. At this point in my life I had met goals and dreams to accomplish, I wanted to go to college. He had a steady job, but I could not earn much to pay for my studies, going out with friends, having a car to help my mother. And I thought it was fair, since I believed that with effort could make all my dreams. He had a girlfriend that I loved older than me, with a son that I loved like my own. For me life was perfect. I should have known that all good things come to an end ...
One summer day, hot, those that only think of beach or pool, or anything with water where we can be ... Conbine coffee with friends after work since my girlfriend is on vacation with his son, and I could not go because he had to work. I'm going in my car listening to music, "get this party started" LoL at six o'clock on a road with some movement and the signal turns red, and I stop the car after another ... And I am thinking of things I liked to do in my projects when four guys come right to my car and start beating with sticks everywhere try to get away but can not, eventually beat me violently until I was unconscious, as acobo ? At the Hospital with a head injury with memory loss ... Sad and no car ... I am out of work because I was sick, and so I have to leave the university. But, I went down, I thought, just a sudden, I'll be good to get a job again and recomço study. And everything returns to normal again.
It is true that we do not choose who we like or we fall in love. But all of dignity we should have to bear the truth. Because we choose not fall in love with someone else, but chose to lie ... At this wonderful time of my life where everything is upside down I discover that my girlfriend was in love with another boy. My heart broke, it was the love of my life ... I had given my life for it if necessary ... but I accepted and I walked away ... and started the madness ... nightclubs, concerts, alcohol, drugs, sex, work ... all at the same time ... one day forty-eight hours did not arrive for everything ... I turned the love ... this time by a boy! For me everything is ok ... I like people, smart, beautiful and sensual ... interesting with a brain that stimulates me ... and of course ... lol ... good sex
Through it all I have nephews. My brother who is very disorganized without work is also the wife and I take the education of my niece ...
And my boyfriend is separated with two daughters, twins! (When two is cheaper lol) which is a vision of hell are literally "stupid girls" with the particularity that never wanted to be presidents ... not even buy clothes perfumes ... they do not know for example the gravity of what is happening in Japan ... and they are 16 years old ... I age with them, discussing politics and fought for environmental causes, defending human rights and did volunteer work with disabled people ... and had projects ... they are so futile ...
And recently I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia Sad I need to stay home one day told by the doctor and I end up getting fired ... once again I end up quitting the University ... But now is different ... I'm sick. .. And I see all my projects crumble like a sandcastle ... All my dreams fade and be no more than dreams ... and not want to be the guy who everyone can call at four in the morning. .. I do not want to wake up and remind me of my past .... My house has been a fun house ... .. And now Ash everywhere ... I do not want to be left alone, but the strength to fight fails me ... my family portrait is very heavy ... Everybody depends on me for everything ... I, I have nobody ... I must always be strong for me and I must be strong to everyone ... I'm exhausted ... And no one around me thinks that I can be sick and tired ...
Today April 2, 2011 I just want a one way ticket to nowhere ... and fast please! I want to be stupid, stupid because they are happy! I do not know that Nature is at risk, the economy is at risk in the world die every day hungry children, women who every day are killed by their husbands ... children who are raped ... Please someone make me a lubotomia! Someone becomes a pepper or a watermelon! I like to wake up tomorrow in the skin of another person, a normal person ... where concern was not more than having the car washed or trimmed the grass ...
Somehow I know that I can give back to this stage ... I do not know how, but I hope to get ... And hopefully I'll be happy, and study and learn things ... and cultures ... the fund does not want to be stupid ... just wanted to be normal ... I do not say perfect ... but healthy ... and a more relaxed brain (I treat my brain by: My abitante!)
Made a Touch, a Fenix ​​hope that the meaning help me.
Thank you for this time.
And sorry
All the best to those who read this email.