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Just need some advice pls

Just need some advice pls

This may sound stupid but I'm finding things a little hard to handle at the mo.
My issues are that I have recently found out that I can't do much activities due to a damaged disk in my lower back. I may have to have surgery (only had one before but nothing to serious). I'm only 24.
I found my dad before christmas and things were going fine until I asked my mum some questions about what happened back when I was little. Now after having a heated discussion and speaking once after that, I now have no one in my family talking to me. And with the back problem they don't want to know. How does someone cope with that after having your family around??
Sorry if this sounds stupid but my partner is now finding it hard to as it affects him, just looking for some advice really.

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Thanx for that LianneB1. I went trough a year of counselling for the things that happened to me. The advise that I was given has helped me as much as it can.
I have only been in contact with my dad for a few months, so can't ask him anything part from the usual, why he left and so on.
I have made my mind up over the weekend to just forget them. Love them as I do, yes it is hard but I need to focus on me and not them for once in my life.
Still waiting to know if any surgery will be needed for my back.

You should be really proud of yourself, it sounds so hard and I was really sorry and saddened to read the reaction of your family. Is your dad still there for you? Sometimes, as difficult as it might seem, you have to just let things remain in the past. Perhaps the only way you will get back on good terms with your mum is by letting things go? If you are in contact with your dad, can't he shed some light on things? - although, all stories have two sides.

After all you have been through and the situation with your mum / family now, it may take time to heal the things that are said in the heat of the moment - just because you are not getting on as you did does not mean your mother loves you any less Smiling. You need to be really strong and try to find some help, a counsellor may be able to aid you.

I have only ever had dealings with a grief counsellor, and I found she helped give me a different perspective on things. So perhaps you should ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor (obviously not a grief counsellor - although at the moment you may be feeling a sense of loss), it is not a miracle cure, but can help you look at things differently. I have been grieving for almost five years now and will be for the rest of my life, but I have learnt to push things to the back of my mind - this was not actually what the counsellor advised, but it's my way of coping!!

Please be strong and remember your family will still love you even though you are all going through a difficult time. Things can sometimes seem very bleak, but, remember they will get better.

hi darling ive had spine surgery and now the proud onnner of 16 screws and 2 rods

can't keep me down

I have had so many things happen in my life that ppl shouldn't go through. I have said to my family for many years that we need to be a "family". I have spoken to outside ppl about what I have been through and come through them after many years of talking about them. Ok life is hard, given but the ppl you lean on and suppose to talk to about anything just don't want to know and that hurts. So how can you tell the ppl that you love and care for that all you want is them to be a family? I have had a convo with my mum but it seemed she wasn't there in mind and didn't want to hear what I had to say, which is really sad. I feel that I have tried what you have said and not had that much success.
I'm really proud of myself of where I have come from to what I am today, just wish my family could see that for a change.

it sounds really hard, and everyone goes through s*** in thier life!!! if you really miss oyur family and want contact with them, the first step is telling them that, tell them how you are feeling!!! you need to find someone to talk to about this, whether it would be a friend, a family member ( just try it) or someone else!!!! no one can help you with your issues but you though... you need to sort yourslef out before other people can try and help you!!!

B.Sheppard!

it sounds really hard, and everyone goes through s*** in thier life!!! if you really miss oyur family and want contact with them, the first step is telling them that, tell them how you are feeling!!! you need to find someone to talk to about this, whether it would be a friend, a family member ( just try it) or someone else!!!! no one can help you with your issues but you though... you need to sort yourslef out before other people can try and help you!!!

B.Sheppard!