i steer from it cuz it jus diverts what is so simple what is so plain~you see i am used to it
a friend said last nite,perhaps you need to write she said she is sure people need to read
tho i told her with my reply,it takes away from me. tho how can i explain,for one to undastand
i said to her, for me words r not enuff,tho for some from me that is all they need,so,i purposely stop.
yeah,even tho i have to write such things. for it urks me,wants to be set free,tho is there not
a such thing as flesh,words we speak,how come only letters,punctuation chit? i learnt eva so
numb like,i have bout had enuff. so i think,what resonates with me~i get amused on how
people have set perception,on how i think~in which ways i speak. no one understands,i jus
dont give a fuhck. if i were to take,every miniscule terror,ball em up keep em close to my heart like letters,what good does that do/to/for me? still,one thinks im waiting,jus one time,one glance,jus one rhyme,to snap~it will neva happen. if anything,i jus act like im deaf~mute sometimes,so much error,tho who really knows cuz there is no such thing as "time"
i find myself constantly explaining myself,oh i rememba the day,where i had nothing to talk about concerning me.....and i loved it. i miss it,for i spent my days consouling sayin truely everything is gonna b allright~tho it was that time that broke tha seals,for what else could have made me keep this eva so real. and i tell you this,oh i so do feel like Jesus talkin to tha Jews' and i say it with a giggle and even a smirk too,tho this is mainly what i am judged for~much courage to follow my own drum,for i walk alone~tho tis true~nothing in this world can make me
hate,especially you. there is no one who could persuade me to say or do or think anything,so if i had a few wishes,i sure do hope they stop trying.
i see haters,constantly. wanting to see me fall,no matter how these sad eyes sometimes look,really it is not i whom i cry for~tis ones who kno no betta,who have lost their mind,for those who r hungry,even tho they are fed all the time. i am allright,i was born with to two too much compassion,for never do i put myself in front of the entire worlds needs,that is where folks r twisted. i would give my life and still will,jus to make it realized,you are not alone.
i trust myself,my thoughts,my dreams~i believe in myself no matter whom disagrees. i truely have forgotten what it feels like,to be in a world where i was liked. for it is this which makes me have sorrowfilled thinkings,to know i am alone ,i know i chose this. give a chick some credit,i aint no fool,who would not want love to be loved,to b able to trust. all i can do is live like there is no tommorow,make sure "time" is well spent,as in pay it forward. for i want nothing,but to b thought of,in time/s of losing it all i will silently scream,do not give up.
for if this is my destiny,to simply be,to have the world staring at me~so shall i speak. and if this is what my spirit desires,so be it,i am content~even if no one else is feelin it. yes,things could b better,tho what do i have to complain for,i am truely blessed,for i am cursed to know things unspoken of,this i know which i keep repeating myself~i feel emotions as meant to be,even if in secret hidden from me. i understand things in which is none of my bidness,i keep secrets~in my soul darkness to embed is forbidden.
yes,love letters. yes so true. no i cannot take back all the forms of past abuse. for i had/have no right to b angry,it is a shield made of invisible wisdom,to keep what is sacred~to break any cycle of non peaceful things~if i can do it,if i can be true,if i can live life honestly~then so can anybody,so can U. this should b enuff for one to understand,i want not change from anyone,jus for one to understand. it is not alwayz what you think,tis what ur mind argues with,for when ur mind speaks,first time,take it not for granted,for this is truth. whomeva denies me of my right to live,really does not have a clue.
there is no need to fight,i can handle myself,even if on the outside it looks like i try,i gave up long ago,it was/is no longer my fight. i dont like to argue,for who am i to say more than one time,that enuff is enuff. and i cannot believe some of the things i said,for no one can make me anything,not feel,not dead. if i could take back all the hurtful things,i would. if i could have stayed and not walked away,dont u think i would? for there is alwayz interference,they say when you are full of light,darkness comes out of nowhere and corners you in~alwayz lookin for a fight. i dont want to partake in a never ending battle with anyones mind.
it is all good,im on a mission,try and think positive it alwayz does one good~yesterday is said to be of the past,let it be,move on to possibilities of what you feel is right,i kno i learnt one thing that is eva so useful to me,keepin it real is all one needs to survive in this thing we call life,i send my blessings and prayers for one peace of mind.