This is a poem I wrote for someone I conformed in for a long time, and saved me from myself.
One word, forever hard to say,
One word I often needed,
To find that person to not hinder,
But end this pain when pleaded.
I could not yet comprehend it,
I was too ignorant to see,
The hurt I often laid upon,
One who’d befriended me.
I had never stronger yearning
For this hurt to simply cease;
I’d found someone to confide in,
And perhaps, to bring me peace.
But with this, I brought pain -
Anguish, torment, greed;
It was never yours to deal with,
Could have stood back, watched me bleed.
Forethought, a second option;
It was a choice not yours to make,
For I could not see it within you,
To, heedlessly, watch me break.
Before I could apprehend it,
I had chosen - honestly,
Just maybe, I could say that word,
And take the chance -please help me.
You took me, under wing -
Throughout a constant, winding journey.
A selfless act of kindness,
To find that girl, perhaps, I could be.
I know, unable to repay,
Something I owe to you – my being;
A higher shining, gratitude,
A life, you helped in freeing.
It’s still exhausting acting happy,
Every minute of each day,
At times, my hatred for existence -
Finding reason just to stay;
I’m ashamed of who I am;
My willpower, self-control,
But I’m discovering every day
What my future, yet could hold.
What you have done for me is special,
And I proudly call you a friend,
For showing light when all is darkness,
That each black tunnel has its end.
So, I express all gratitude I can;
Thank you with all my heart can give,
My forever indebted soul to you,
Because of you - I live.