Hopeless

Today i went for a walk
and did some thinking
i have to think before i talk
because it would be late to
take it back
and for that you have to pay a check

Not a check of money
and your life would not be filled with honey
but a pile of Consequences.
Today i leared my lesson
dont take your loved once for granteed
and that way you live in heavean

Once you loose them
from your life they will be vanished
and with you will be finished
it would not matter how much you cry
or how much you try
beacuse once they slip away
back will never come
and you have to calculate the sum
of how you can live alone
and speak with your tone

i am exosted
i am ridiculous
am delirious
beacuse life is so mysterious

The more you search for happiness
the more it speeds away from you
and that way i feel so blue
so maybe i have
to let happiness
find me instead
and i want to scream in my head

My past keeps crawling on my knees
and no one cares or sees
how hurt and in pain i am
and how i wish i suffocate in the ham

I am thinking of suicides
but my thought away it slides
i am too chicken to do such a thing
but on the rope i wish i can hang

I keep living only because of my mother
and a reason there's no other
because i have no perpose
to keep on going
so here i dont know what im doing

i wish i had died
where i had the chance
but to protect me there was a fance
i got hit by a truck
but still in this world i am stuck

I am flowing with the current
and i cant get back on my feet
and anger is filling me with the heat
and so i just stop and take a seat

I lost everything in a heart beat
and its shit that i eat
i could have had everything
but it got me thinking
that i was so near
but now i am here
having nothing but my sorrows
and i am killing myslef with the errows

Because of my thoughtless decision
alone i am watching the television
wishing to go through it
to get away from this fairy tale
but all the time i fail

I am always on the wrong track
and i cannot go back
how i wish i can solve my problmes
but instead i make theme wearse
and i think i have a curse

Why? why? why?
how much i try
i can never find the light
even though with my strength i fight

I wish i can wake up
wake up from this nightmare
and be free like a hare
and away i scare
the crises that life
keeps on dropping
and along i keep hopping

I wish i could pull the triger
but i am a fighter like a tiger
maybe someday
for me the sun will come
and i dont feel so dam.