Well how does one begin? I guess I can't really put into words why I'm a fan but I can tell you how I feel; OK maybe I can't even do that! OK I'm gonna try my best. Here goes!

I've always been the guy walking to his own beat. I've had my fair share of fights in school and being beaten up and shoved in lockers cause I was the punker guy that just didn't give a sh!t. It's a long, long hard journey to where I go to now. I find myself getting there more and more daily, with the help of your words and wisdom.

My ex girlfriend said to me once. "P!nk, man she's a roller coaster", and I not only found that to be very true, but it's what I love most about you. Anyone, especially anyone of "celebrity" status could easily put on a fake smile for the press and pretend every thing's always OK. The fact that you are so real, and so true to yourself and your fans amaze me. It's like finding a diamond in the rough. There's no words for that, I only hope these kids and girls see what a positive influence you can be.

It's so easy just to be like everyone else. It's so easy to be a crazed stalker fan, or someone that bats their eyelashes to get a free drink. I have come to realize that it's much easier being just me, no matter how I come off. I witness people changing their minds like they change their under ware everyday, and if it's not cool or popular they don't want anything to do with it. What? Life? It's so sad to see such an epidemic, and especially one of this stature plaguing our society. I know sounds kind of militant of me, but being a guy that has always respected women. It's hard not to feel something for them.

When my ex of three years left me, I had just heard "Who Knew". It struck a chord so deep in my soul, I never though anyone would ever see me that vunerable. Being a man, you want to be tough, you want to be a rock, a support, something that your significant other can depend and lean on. Don't get me wrong. I'm not ashamed to cry in front of anyone or show emotion. Actually, honestly I wear my heart on my sleeve. I still do to this day, and one would think I would of learned by now! It's OK. I just got to be me.

Wow I'm horrible at this. Back to the subject at hand. I've been a fan from the beginning. I've always had a thing for punk rock girls with attitude. First time I ever heard you sing I was hooked. I often go on and on to my friends how every album you put out, it just keeps getting better and better. When "M!ssundaztood" came out, I fell hook line and sinker. Op, I already said that! "Tis true tho;P~ I actually find myself listening to it on repeat when I'm painting random sh!t on my wall.

I never had parents that divorced, but I did have a very troubled past much like yourself. I got mixed up in a lot of stuff and been homeless for weeks at a time. The whole nine yards, you know the deal! I dropped out of High School just short of graduating 11th grade. I never liked school much, I was always getting beat up just because I decided a long time ago to march to a different drummer. Hey that's life. I actually ended up going to a residential program where they actually "made" you go to school, and therapy! At least you got off not serving those 50 something detentions! Lucky!

Being the kind of guy I am, I always end up in serious but bad relationships. My ex girlfriend of 7 years used to beat me and do all sorts of horrid things to me. Why did I stay with her? She had a son (not mine) that I got attached to. His father didn't play a role in his life, so I wanted to be a father figure to him. I don't regret it to this day, but I am happy I learned to walk away before she actually took my life! Yeah, she was that messed up. I'll tell you about it some day, I promise! When all the bad stuff happened, I would always manage to stumble out to my truck and just blast your music. It's actually kind of funny doing that in a little sh!t town like Madison, CT but everyone needs a wake up call! I know what it's like to have someone be an "addiction". I've been there, and it almost cost me my sanity.

I thought everything was going OK for a while when I met my 2nd serious girlfriend. We had a LD relationship for about 3 years and we worked through a lot. One day she just up and got sick of it. Fair enough, but she handled it very poorly. When "Who Knew" came out I don't think one day went by when I didn't listen to it and cry. It just made so much sense to me. It's like someone ripped open my soul and pured it out to you. I healed and healed and healed. It's better than any therapy on this earth. Some people have music, others have art, writing, poetry, with your music and the humbleness you bring to present, I really feel lucky to be a fan.

My brother and I both served in Iraq. We did three tours of duty each. I made it home, he didn't. My mom took it hard. No one should ever deserve to lose a child no matter how it happened. He died in my arms in the middle of some sh!t sandbox. I remember hearing "Dear Mr. President" for the first time. I cried and at the same time found closure. I made my mom listen to it, and we would both just sit and cry and listen and hold each other. You have honestly helped heal hers and my wounds. You had the balls to do what every person wanted to do. That's what makes you so great, because there are very few out spoken people out there. The world needs more.

I know you must get so sick of this, but it must be a banner year for break-ups. My wife of 2 years just up and walked out on me. I'm sure if I didn't have "Funhouse" to listen to I'd be in a padded room somewhere. I just don't understand, why someone would ever put anyone through that. She moved out from AZ, and within a week she was pushing me to the edge of my sanity. It took us two years to work through it, but I was convinced she was the one. I don't know what it is, maybe it's because I date women slightly younger then me (I'm 30). You know how that goes. The "Reality Show" generation kids now a days, "Lyk Omg int3rwebz iz muh lif3!" *Shakes head*, now that's a whole other epidemic to talk about!

I know it's pretty sh!tty to thank someone for their own gut wrenching heartache. I actually feel embarrassed and almost insulting for even mentioning it, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that "Funhouse" got me through a lot of lonely nights. Every song on there has touched me deep. You'd think it would wreck me, especially cause I can empathize with your feelings, but it actually made it easier for me to just walk away and heal. I'm a very devoted guy, I never cheated on anyone, I don't lie. I look people straight in the eye. I guess some people like my ex wife just need the "drama" every day, and that's a road I don't care to walk down again.

A while back (10+ years ago) after I got out of the Military (Army Ranger) I was diagnosed with Chronic Pain. I was on pain killers for that amount of time and developed a nasty addiction to them. I let both the chronic pain and addiction consume me. Entirely. When my ex wife left, it was honestly the best day of my life. I got clean, and not with any help. I can remember reading somewhere that you've been down those roads, and you kicked it. Just put everything into your music. I did the same, and I thank you for that inspiration. Detoxifying off of opiates is killer on your body. It was a good week of hell, but I sat here pumped some tunes and worked on my art. Now people can't get me to stop dancing and acting like a complete goof! I just can't thank you enough.

I know you're probably way to busy to ever read this, but I just had to put it out there. It's not everyday a guy like me gets to converse with such a wonderful person. I don't know if you will actually read this or not, and I know you've probably got better things to do with being so busy and all who wouldn't! I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for everything you've ever done. You make so many valid points, and touch so many lives and people especially me, it's hard to conjure up the right words.

You ever have those days where everything is just bad. Like the "candy bar" syndrome. You have a bad day and go to the store to get a candy bar cause it'll make you feel better and when you buy it and open it, it's broken and it just makes you more upset and cry harder?! and all you really want is a hug and to be held close and told every thing's going to be alright? Well, you're that hug for me. That calming soothing voice, that's like a warm sunset at the end of the day.

If I could ever return the favor, I would, but I wouldn't ever know how. I'm just a guy with a heart and soul. Humbled from life's experiences. Emily Saliers from the Indigo Girls (I'm a huge fan of them also!) once said on their live disk "1200 Curfews" "You have to laugh at yourself, or else you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't." I've always known that to be true, but you've given me the courage to do so. We all go insane, get crazy and we're all M!ssundaztood. After all that's what makes us human.

I hope somewhere along this crazy road we call life, we meet in the middle of all this chaos. Yes, I'll be that guy slipping in the puddle of his own drool, I promise, but it'll be OK! I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and gives you some sort of comfort (I don't know how it would..but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually!) in this crazy world. Thank you for letting me share my story. All the love and adoration in the world!

Ever Faithfully,
S. Michael "Rage" Reilly
fistfullofsteel1977@yahoo.com

PS - If you ever need a penpal I'm your guy! Gawd, how third grade of me. Ok now I'm embarassed and like 89890859 shades of red. *shakes head*